When the Holidays Trigger Your Old Wounds — It’s Okay to Take Space This Season

The holidays are often described as a time of joy, connection, and family.

But for many women—especially those doing the work to heal generational trauma—the holidays can feel more like emotional landmines. You walk into a room filled with people who knew the old you, expect the same reactions, and don’t see how hard you’ve worked to change.

And suddenly, you’re 10 years old again—shrinking, fawning, or fuming inside.

If this is you: you’re not broken.
You’re healing.
And it’s okay to take space.

Triggers Aren’t Setbacks. They’re Signals.

If your nervous system flares up when your mother criticizes your choices, or when your brother makes that same old joke about your sensitivity, it doesn’t mean you’re failing.

It means your body still remembers.
It means there’s something deeper asking for your presence.

And the greatest gift you can give yourself this season isn’t people-pleasing or pretending.
It’s honoring what your body is trying to tell you.

What You’re Feeling Might Be Grief

Grief for the family you wished you had.

Grief for the version of you that used to betray herself just to keep the peace.

Grief for how deeply you used to disconnect from your own needs to keep others comfortable.

This grief isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.
It shows that you’re waking up—and choosing truth over performance.

Permission to Do It Differently

This holiday season, you’re allowed to:

  • Leave early

  • Stay home

  • Set boundaries

  • Say “No, thank you”

  • Say “This isn’t okay with me anymore”

  • Take breaks in your car or bathroom or backyard

Your healing doesn’t require everyone else to be ready.
It just requires you to stay true to what you’ve outgrown.

What Helped Me: Space + Grounding

There was a year I didn’t go to the family gathering. I spent the day walking through a local park, drinking tea, and letting tears come up as they needed.

It felt selfish at first. But then I realized—it was sacred.
I was tending to myself the way I wish someone had, all those years ago.

You’re allowed to give yourself that same care.

Healing Tools for the Season

Whether you’re still in the thick of the holidays or preparing ahead, know this:

Your inner peace matters just as much as anyone else’s tradition.

📘 Take the Burnout Quiz
If you’re feeling stretched too thin, take 2 minutes to assess how your nervous system is coping—and what you can do next.
👉 Take the Burnout Quiz

🎓 Join How to Master Your Subconscious Mind
This free class teaches you how to use hypnosis and subconscious tools to shift patterns at the root—especially those triggered around family.
👉 Join HTMYSCM

📞 Book a Complimentary Consultation
If you’re ready for support that goes deeper than coping strategies, let’s talk.
👉 Book Your Free Session

You don’t owe anyone your emotional labor.
You don’t need to explain your healing.
And you don’t have to go backwards just because it’s tradition.

You’re allowed to protect your peace.
You’re allowed to choose you.

With love and permission,
Carrie LaMastus
It’s time to Take Back Your Light.

Bay Area Local In Person, Healing Transformation, Hypnotherapy Subcon Mind, Motivation EmpowermentCarrie LaMastusComment