How to Love Yourself First

Why So Many Women Keep Abandoning Themselves

Most women who struggle with self-love are not lacking awareness.

They already know they need boundaries.
They know they shouldn’t overgive.
They know they need rest, honesty, support, and space for themselves.

And yet… they still find themselves exhausted, resentful, anxious, disconnected, or settling for less than they truly want.

Because self-abandonment is rarely just a mindset issue.

It’s often a subconscious survival pattern.

For many women, especially single women, moms, caretakers, and high-capacity women, the nervous system learned very early that love, safety, approval, or belonging came through overgiving, people-pleasing, perfectionism, hyper-independence, or staying emotionally small.

Over time, these patterns stop feeling like patterns.
They start feeling like personality.

Self-Love Is Not Just Positive Thinking

You cannot affirm your way out of a subconscious pattern your body still believes is necessary.

This is why so many women feel frustrated after years of personal development, mindset work, or traditional talk therapy.

They understand the pattern intellectually…
but still react emotionally in the same ways.

Self-love is not just learning to think differently.

It’s learning how to stop abandoning yourself in real time:

  • in relationships

  • in communication

  • in burnout

  • in over-responsibility

  • in emotional overwhelm

  • in the fear of disappointing others

Real change happens when the subconscious mind no longer needs the old protective response.

Burnout, Overgiving, and Self-Worth Are Deeply Connected

Many women experiencing burnout are not simply doing too much.

They are carrying subconscious patterns that make rest feel unsafe, boundaries feel uncomfortable, or self-prioritization feel selfish.

Burnout often shows up as:

  • chronic overthinking

  • difficulty receiving support

  • emotional exhaustion

  • resentment

  • perfectionism

  • anxious attachment

  • losing yourself inside relationships

  • constantly trying to “earn” your worth

Burnout is often the symptom.
The deeper pattern is self-abandonment.

And until the root pattern changes, the cycle usually repeats.

Why Awareness Alone Often Isn’t Enough

Insight is powerful.
But awareness alone does not always create change.

Many women already know exactly why they react the way they do.

What they haven’t experienced yet is what happens when the subconscious pattern itself begins to shift.

Inside Regressive Release Method, we work with the subconscious mind to identify the emotional patterns and protective responses that were formed earlier in life and are still influencing present-day reactions, relationships, and behaviors.

This is not about blaming the past or reliving it endlessly.

This is how we locate the pattern and change it at the root.

Trauma-Release Hypnotherapy and the Regressive Release Method

The Regressive Release Method (RRM) is a trauma-informed hypnotherapy process designed to help women release subconscious emotional patterns and create lasting change from within.

Rather than forcing change through willpower alone, RRM works at the level where emotional reactions, identity patterns, and protective responses are formed.

Clients often come in struggling with:

  • burnout

  • people-pleasing

  • anxiety

  • anger

  • procrastination

  • relationship patterns

  • low self-worth

  • emotional overwhelm

But underneath those experiences is usually a deeper question:

“Who would I be if I no longer needed this pattern to protect me?”

That is the work.

You Deserve to Feel Safe Being Yourself

Loving yourself first does not mean becoming selfish.

It means learning how to stay connected to yourself while moving through life, relationships, parenting, work, and growth.

It means no longer abandoning your needs just to maintain connection with others.

It means building a relationship with yourself that feels grounded, honest, and sustainable.

And for many women, this becomes the beginning of everything changing.

Work With Carrie

Carrie LaMastus is a Clinical Hypnotherapist and creator of the Regressive Release Method, helping women identify and release subconscious emotional patterns connected to burnout, overgiving, anxiety, self-worth, and relationship struggles.

Sessions are held online via Zoom for women in the Bay Area and beyond.

Ready to begin?

It’s time to…. TAKE BACK YOUR LIGHT!